So that vacay is coming up. *excited face
Except, ahem, well…before the pleasure there is the plane. *Unimpressed face.
The scenario of what awaits isn’t pretty.
That ratbag kid (who may or may not be some relation) using his outside voice. ALL. THE. TIME.
The temperature roulette akin to the joys of menopause.
But mostly, that guy (who may or may not be some relation), snoring loudly and slumping into our airspace.
We contort out of reach (hello lower back spasm) and offer silent acknowledgement to that big ‘ol grouch at the post office who made our passport pic look like celeb party-gal/sometimes-jailbird Lindsay Lohan (LiLo for those in the know) after an all-nighter.
Because let’s be honest, they nailed it.
Uhhh, we don't think so, little Lindsay.
Our sleep-deprived, vacant-eyed arrival style is an exact match to our LiLo-impersonating
mugshot pic. Meanwhile, that’s about all we want to do. Lie low. Preferably for 24hours in a climate-controlled room with blockout curtains and a fully stocked minibar.
But keep calm and carry on scrolling. The Blue Bungalow wizardesses have concocted the perfect inflight formula for women’s travel clothes to take us from AU to anywhere with our dignity* and comfort intact.
*Unless we drained more inflight Prosecco than LiLo would.
So what makes the perfect travel outfit? What to wear on a long flight really hinges on investing in good quality, comfortable basics. In black. Well as much as possible. But not as much as that goth girl our son sometimes hangs out with and makes our MumAlarm buzz like crazy. Pause for wine sculling.
Simply, black or some other dark alternative like navy, is the best protection against “air turbulence”, also known as pilot pranks (there IS a correlation between “turbulence” and the dinner trolley rolling out). Not to mention snorey old mate with his drool-face practically resting on our shoulder.
As well as sticking to a black/navy colour code, our travel clothes should also tick the magic 7 essential categories. Let’s discuss.
1. A COMFY TRAVEL TOP.
Yep, obviously. But unlike us, the BB wizardesses have thought about this carefully, and recommend anything bamboo as THE BEST travel clothes. Not only is bamboo as soft as a kitten with a blow wave, it’s thermoregulating – meaning it will help us moderate those spiralling inflight temperatures (ie bamboo keeps us warm when it’s cold; and vice versa).
If we really need more convincing, bamboo won’t bag out-of-shape, is 40% more absorbent than cotton and has natural anti-bacterial goodness. YAY. Here’s to not smelling like something that soft cat dragged in. BB bamboo options also earn bonus points for that bit of extra spandex and for packing up easily - lightweight travel clothes are seriously our besties.
2. A LAYER FOR WARMTH.
Don’t even think about boarding without the equivalent of a jacket-shaped doona. Then again, it depends if we want to take a chance that the first-class hogs won’t pillage the inflight second-blankie-stash. Let’s say the Blanket Gods bestow us with a bonus throw, and we’re just usually lucky like that. In which case, we’d only really need a lightweight top layer like the Harper Cotton Cardigan.
If we don’t want to annoy the hostie for a second blankie (honestly, let’s keep them onside for the important jobs, like fetching a few more of those delightful Prosecco piccolo’s), or if we’re usually not second-blanket-lucky, the BB team advise a medium weight knit. Something like the Vivi Cardi or the Bamboo Cashmere Wrap (which is basically a cocoon packaged as a cardigan) will do the trick.
3. A NECK RUG.
A comfortable travel clothes for women ensemble absolutely demands the presence of a scarf (check out the BB selection here). Essential for extra warmth, they also prove handy for their shape-shifting abilities. Scrunch a scarf into a variety of travel tools like a small pillow, a fashionable bib (pilot pranks - they will -) or a cute turban for that I-woke-up-like-this frizz ball. *Siri, schedule a rinse and reset on arrival.
4. THE ALMOST-TRACK-PANT
This is basically a no-brainer. We’re all over this.
Enter the Bamboo Soft Slouch Pant, with a ROLL-OVER waistband.
Ok, we weren’t all over it. Not even close.
This pant, with its magical waistband and moisture zapping bamboo, is pure genius. No uncomfortable digging-in or sweat gathering ANYWHERE. We honestly thought these were as mythical as our husband’s ability to hang his wet towel and not leave it rotting on the bed for the next three weeks. *Siri, re-schedule the holiday cleaner for tomorrow.
Right up there next to the Bamboo Slouch, is the Dana Modal Pant which has all the similar fun properties of bamboo, but was designed with a slightly straighter leg and fitted, flat front waistband (with elastic hidden at the back). Oh, and did we mention, modal ages really well.
Meanwhile, for gals with fuller hips and pins, we can slip comfortably into the Everyday Tie Pant which has a relaxed fit and looser ankle cuff.
Side Note: Don’t be shy of travel pants that resemble good ‘ol trackie dacks. Social influencers have been cramming the 80’s down our throats for a while now, and we should know that airport track pants are an important part of making everyone believe your life is way better than theirs. Brands like Elm Clothing and Betty Basics do a great range of laid back travel clothing.
5. SMART SET OF SHOES.
By smart, the BB gals recommend a slip-on or snazzed-up sneaker to stay on trend, but comfortable. A "For Instance" would be the Cruise Zip. It’s a sneaker trying a bit harder, but in a good way (not like Boy George and his hats). Alternatively, we could opt for a cushy leather slip-on like the plush-sounding Jose or Paris. Either way, these guys will also be helpful while
bar-hopping sight-seeing. They pair well with a gorgeous casual dress too.
Or step it up a notch and choose something with a little wow-factor like the Kent Suede. Not only an inflight buddy, they can be a staple while swanning around, snapping out-of-focus pics to text to all our friends.
6. GLASSES FOR SHADE AND SEEING STUFF.
The 80s have made a comeback, and we’re in luck. Our kids can’t tease us about our “Granny tassels” because they’re also wearing glasses chains now and acting like they invented them and all the Uhhmazing-ness on earth. What is Amazing, is the selection of chains and reading glasses at BB. Pairing up a chain with our glasses is all-important for avoiding the in-chair Cirque du Soleil contortion while trying to locate our specs.
And let’s not forget the must-have sunglasses. Perfect for disguising a little mid-arvo (post-piccolo) nap. Or for when the guy in the window seat wants to blast the row with unfiltered UV exposure.
7. A ROOMY TOTE
Yeah, we just usually grab the biggest bag we can find that looks like it will squeeze through the inflight baggage allowance. Uh-uh. Like everything else the BB team have carefully considered, they offer us some tote alternatives that are multifaceted, multifunctional and multi-goodness.
Cue the Splash Proof range. These totes are oh-so roomy with a gusseted base, have a zippered top and side pocket (think security) and can roll up into a neat space-saving ball when not in use. They are also damp-resistant, so you can use them beachside for keeping dry things protected, or store your damp cossie and towel without leakage. Incidentally, they also fashion nicely into a giant inflight muzzle for
the husband, that random snorer with the excessive drool issue to our left. We also love the Splash Proof pouches for all the small things we need to keep contained, like “travel” Valium.
So there we have it. An excellent round-up of travel outfit tips for long flights. No more shall we shuffle dishevelled down-ramp like a D-grade celeb squinting into a police camera after a drunken midnight car chase.
In fact, it’s high time to make a date with that cranky-pants postal servant.
*Siri: schedule a new passport pic.